Just a random thought from my little book...

In all the times that seem so hard
when tears cry out inside,
You must explore new ways to live,
Reverse depression's tide.

When all of your solutions
Stay away, remain unknown,
And you are isolated
In you your heart and feel alone,

Remember that the world
Is full of others just like you
And you can reach beyond the darkness, change your point of view.

Everyone has moments
When their problems seem too much.
Everyone has joys that seem
Elusive, out of touch.

but when it all seems very bleak
And hope has all but gone,
Remember, time will heal your heavy thoughts
If you'll hang on

-Bruce B Wilmer


Have a good day you all, and coming soon... a couple of pictures from our trip to the zoo with Megan and Oliver. Whoopee!!

yo cousin

Happy Birthday to Tye!

Hope you have a grand ol' day lovely one!

yooouwhoooo, cute pictures guys

who needs grass and sand to play in when you can play in really old crunchy leaves in a cement stairwell?
I know I know...standing up in a highchair? But just look at that face!

Oliver wanted his hat back, but we borrowed it long enough for some fun pictures. Yeeeehaw!

Happy happy birthday to Molly. She didn't really like her cupcake, but the dogs sure did.

What do you want me to do with this? She just poked it a few times with one finger.

Graduation

It was Ryan's big day today. He didn't even trip, what a guy! So here are a few pictures from our day.

this is Molly getting ready to go to see daddy walk.

striking some kind of special pose

after the blessed event

Today I was getting frustrated at myself at how instantly frustrated I was getting over minor things. Like spilling water on the carpet, bumping my elbow (hard), and Molly being very demanding and fussy. Then, when I was playing with Molly- she was getting very frustrated at not being able to put a lid on the tennis ball container by herself - I heard myself saying, "don't worry, you have a long time to figure it out. It may not happen for a while, but I know you can do it. It's just going to take some trying and time." And then it clicked why I was so frustrated at myself. I want to be this person that I'm just not being no matter how hard I try right now. Then I gave myself the same advice. Keep on trying. You may not master it today, but in the trying you will probably make some improvements. And I know there is someone who knows that I can and will eventually be able to do it, who loves me like I love Molly, only more perfectly. Then when I was looking through my little thought book I came across this poem that goes along with what I've been feeling:

My Kingdom

A little kingdom I possess,
Where thoughts and feeling dwell;
And very hard I find the task
of governing it well.
For passion tempts and troubles me,
A wayward will misleads,
And selfishness its shadow casts
On all my words and deeds.

How can I learn to rule myself,
To be the child I should -
Honest and brave, -nor ever tire
of trying to be good?
how can I keep a sunny soul
To shine along life's way?
How can I tune my little heart
To sweetly sing all day?

Dear Father, help me with the love
That casteth out my fear!
Teach me to lean on thee, and feel
That thou art very near;
That no temptation is unseen,
No childish grief too small,
Since Thou, with patience infinite,
Doth soothe and comfort all.

I do not ask for any crown,
But that which all may win;
Nor seek to conquer any world
Except the one within.
Be Thou my guide until I find,
Led by a tender hand,
Thy happy kingdom in myself,
And dare to take command.

-Louisa May Alcott

P.S.

Ryan has an iterview on Tuesday for a planner position in Elmore County, Idaho. So here is hoping. Also, he is walking this Friday at The U of U at 11:30 in the Union Student Building and you're all invited, but don't feel obligated, cause graduations, yeah. Anyway, if you have a desire to come, give us a call so we can meet up or something. Just be sure to congratulate my guy, because he is cool, and don't forget to read the real post below, because this was just a p.s.

A little cheese goes a long way

Here is a little cheese for your day. I have this little book that Megan made for me in which I have written quotes and poems that I like (or liked when I was in high school). I thought that I would share one every time I blog for the next little while. The book isn't full, so if you have some favorites that could turn into mine, why then, share away. So here's the first one...

It takes so little to make a child happy, it is a pity grown people do not oftener remember it and scatter little bits of pleasure before the small people, as they throw crumbs to the hungry sparrows.
- Louisa May Alcott

Throwing crumbs to sparrows reminded me of throwing bread to ducks. Yesterday we were at Mindy and Bryant's new place helping them move in. At least, Ryan was helping, and I was trying to keep Molly happy, which is where feeding the ducks comes in. Molly was struggling, so my mom suggested we feed the rest of the bread Molly was refusing to eat, to the ducks off of the balcony of Mindy's place. They have this great duck pond right out there door. Anyway, it was SO cute because Molly thought it was really funny the way the ducks beelined right for the bread and ate it up. Ducks are funny; I agree Molly dearest. I just wish I could have found some other little things to keep her happy, but really she was just ready to be home and going to bed.

Peace out.

Three years, boy howdy

Happy three year anniversary to us!

family picture

This is just us tonight hanging out, looking like scruffs.

Got a case of the grumps!

I don't know what I was dreaming about, or maybe I didn't sleep well enough to dream or something, but I woke up mad this morning. Kind of funny. I have no idea what I am so grumpy about, just woke up mad. Seriously a crazo weirdy. It really has been hard to try and put on a pleasant face for Katie and Molly today. (poor Ryan, I don't try as hard around him, he's good to be my outlet sometimes. Come over here kid and let me wallop ya a good one, JK) ;) I think I did okay though, and finally my mood is turning. I know, what the? Just one of those wrong side of the bed days.
Anyway, Ryan has applied for jobs in South Salt Lake, West Valley, and Rawlins Wyoming. They are are all city type work, but the Rawlins is actual planning and he feels like he has a better chance of getting that one. I just hope something comes from it, like a job? Boy, that would be a bonus!
Well, have a non-angry day because no one likes a grumpy face, trade it for a smile! Make the world a better place by smiling all the while. Okay, and also update your dang blogs dang-it!!

Ryan left this morning. He's headed for Saint George for a planning conference. We were maybe going to go along but I didn't know what we would do with ourselves the whole time and I've been under the weather. I thought we should hold off and plan a little family trip sometime when Ryan would actually be able to hang out with us and I didn't feel like a pile of poo poo. Ha ha - pile of poo. poo. Speaking of which, Molly did, on our carpet the other day.
Anyway, in other news, we are now in the sixth ward. Weird as anything I can imagine. Seeing these people from my childhood a million times older. I think that it will feel like we are visitors. Especially as we don't plan on being here that much longer?
Well, I think it's mac n' cheese time so see yas.

smells like baking bread in here

Okay, so I just went ahead and tried to make some bread without my kitchen aid, and guess what? It turned out better than I've ever made it! Yes, I will even say that it was just like my mom's. I know. Yummy and amazing! I think I should have learned this way in the first place, (that is without the mixer). Something about handling the dough gave me a better idea of what the texture should be like. I did ask my mom some advice and then I remembered Megan saying once that she kneads the bread for 12 min. by hand, so I did have a little help from my friends. Thanks friends. So now I feel more confidant about teaching some bread making. So Nikki and Tia, any old time, I could show you my amazing skills. Let's just hope that I can be consistant and that this time I didn't just get lucky.

I know that I just posted five min. ago, but Ryan just showed me where our most recent pictures of Molly were, so ....

Oksie doksie folksies. I have not a much to say. Mostly, sorry to all of you who have been doing giveaways on your blogs. I have not felt so inclined to participate. What a party pooper I is. I want lovely gifts from you all, but I'm feeling lazy to make anything. Paaaa-thet-ic. Umm, you want to know something stupid I did? Well I signed myself up to teach others how to make bread. Now I'm realizing that I don't really know how to myself. Hmmmm.....special. Megan, do you want to teach me how to hand knead the ol' bread so that I can get to teaching some fabulous relief society ladies? Or my Mom, but she doesn't read my blog, sos I have to call her up about it. Done and done, or at least it will be, because it must be. I have to hand wash our dishes because our dishwasher is broken. I will cry you a river. Actually, I don't really mind just as long as Molly is not crying while I'm trying to do them dishes. One thing I have been enjoying today is when Ryan busts out in song. My personal favorite is "Jamaica, we have a bobsled team. We have the one Dorice and the one Junior." Anyway, as you can tell there's really not much to tell, so have a good one or something.

So, my little nugget of love (Molly) is almost 9 months old. She has recently just taken off with crawling. She has actually known how for a while now, but I don't think she grasped the delights of sweet freedom it would allow and wasn't interested. It was so cute when she found out though, because she would go around squeeling with joy. It was really almost like she was saying "this is so dang cool and I don't care who knows it!" Another cute thing is how much she likes to be near Katie. She likes to hold her hand and give her snuggles and, if I'd let her, pull her hair. She likes to put her face right up (and I'm talking touching noses) and just look at her. And sometimes when Katie "talks" Molly will "talk" back. Sweetheart of a girl.
What about me and or Ryan? Who cares about us, but let me bore you with some random whatevers.

• I'm in love with marinated grilled chicken on the foreman
• Ryan really enjoys his internship, and sometimes gets excited about food too
• Molly really likes yogurt and pumpkin pie and old crusty leaves people drag in on their shoes, as well as paper
• I would like to enjoy a good book or movie, but maybe after I get some real good sleeps in
• I like to look like an idiot and work out to DVD's in the privacy of my own home, oh if you could only see me try and hip-hop-get-on-my-groove-thing with Denise Austin you'd either want to hide in embarrassment or laugh, maybe join in, or a combination of all three
• ummm...we put a nightlite in Molly's room
• we're building up our food storage
• i like piniatas
• and my favorite color is tan
• and I probably like you

Yayhoooo!

So I just pressed enter on accident and published my post, which consisted soley of the title yaygoo, or yayhoo rather. Haha, yaygoo. Anyway, what is so happy is the fact that Ryan has got himself an internship. It is unpaid, but right here in Provo. He will be able to do that part time and still work doing meter reading, so it's working out nicely. Also, it sounds like he will be getting good experience, despite what we had heard, so he's pretty excited and relieved as you can imagine. So thanks for the prayers and such!

yayhooo!

well now that's too bad

Ryan didn't get it and we are pretty bummed. He's going to try and find a volunteer internship, because it doesn't look like anywhere is hiring. He needs to find something soon so he can graduate. From what we hear, Provo already doesn't have enough work to keep the planners they have busy, and a lot of cities are cutting back or have hiring freezes because of the bad economy. So anyway, Ryan doesn't really want to volunteer at Provo, because he feels he won't really learn anything valuable, that is if they would even take him. So who knows. We are keeping confidant that the right thing will turn up, but if not, it will all work out somehow :).

the silence is deafening or the noise is, what?

Still waiting to hear anything. They took the position off their website, so someone has the job I'm thinking. Maybe it could still be Ryan? Monday is a holiday so hopefully we'll know by Tuesday? We just want to know, even if it's a no-go, so we can get on with things max!

Howdy doody

Christmas fun. Doesn't she look so happy about her new toy santa brought her?

Yay paper!

My mom's a crazo weirdy

So here's what's up

Ryan felt that his interview went well. He said there were six total interviewees. He recognized three of them from his classes. We'll know by the end of the week if he got it or not, or they said they may do a second interview, so we will see. He thinks his chances are pretty good because he knows that a lot of the others still had a class or two that they'd have to work around, and he is all done with classes, so that's good. As he was leaving, they brought up the fact that he lived in Provo and how that was a long commute and also about if they would have to do anything for his internship. He told them that if he got the job we would be moving closer and that for his internship they would have to write a review of what he did for them and how they think he performed, that sort of thing, so there's nothing really to worry about. So I'm thinking if those were their only concerns it's looking pretty good, don't you think? Anyway, now it's just waiting to hear back. I'm actually pretty excited for the change, and the idea of looking for an apartment. It will be my first time out of my parent's or in-laws home and the first time paying rent, if you can believe it. I mean, our apartment now has felt like our home more than our in-laws basement. They have been really good about that. And I'm not looking forward to paying rent and realizing just how poor we are, but it's still kind of exciting, you know what I mean even though I can't explain with my words because I'm pretty much special so there you have it folks. Anyway, I'm sounding as though it's a sure thing, and it's not, so here's hoping though!